"How I wish I could be beside her for life already, but responsibility is of utmost concern. She still has to graduate, and I have to get a stable and good-paying job.

So here I am out to do my share of the responsibility. Wish me and my B the best!"

I know I have gone past due on posting a blog. Wait, do I really have an obligation to post one-- let alone at a specific time rate? Wait-- ah I suppose I do. Hi, B!

So here goes:

On the job hunt progress, I've quit the CdO based one. They contacted me last week and were asking for me to report last Monday. I decided not to because of some practical issues. Beforehand, they decided to "sweeten the deal" for me to give the offer a second look. They told me that the Php 180.00 pay rate will shorten to two months only and will increase thereafter. After which their main office will be transferred to a new location, where they will also pay rent for the emplyees. That means, after two months, my salary will increase and my rent expenses will be eliminated. Sounds tempting. But what if the increase will be meager?

So I thought about other options...

One is try to apply in Iliganlink, an internet cafe and outsourcing company for graphics and web services. They have a much higher pay rate (as in much higher-- we're talking about five digits). On top of that, I can work at home and only get to report during a demo or online presentation. But, I'm not sure if it could last long. All I needed however are a copy of my transcript of records and resume. Oops, I forgot to mention that my TOR doesn't look nice (blame it on being in the wrong course at the wrong time... hehe). Unfortunately, the transcript of records cannot be released until three days from tomorrow (I should have it by Friday). Then I have to await for an interview anytime after that.

Another option is to apply as an I.T. lecturer in one of the IT schools here in Iligan like ICI or AMA. But another issue comes up to spoil the fun: My qualifications. I'm a graduate of a completely different course so what qualifies me to give concise and comprehensive Information technology lectures to students? I know I have the technical knowhow and the books to back me up, but is it enough? It sounds bleak.

What I need is experience... (although I already do have one through TADMAN but is it enough?)

So I went back to applying online, hoping to get good-paying jobs elsewhere. I focused my sight in Cebu. There are a few, but I needed more options so I wouldn't have to waste my time going to Cebu just applying for a few companies/firms. There was one very interesting and tempting job offer (Graphics Star) but application seems to be possible only through drop-in process. I recalled applying for eTellicare/eTelecare (whichever and whatever) a long time ago. They called me up last week and scheduled for me an interview sometime next week. However there are a lot of application requirements that needed to be passed. So I have to work on them this week.

Furthermore, I have to settle things about how I should go about spending around one week in Cebu. I already got hold of Patrick's number so I could get some advice and all.

It actually pains me to work there in Cebu, knowing I'll have to leave my Beloved in Iligan for the meantime... for a long time. I'm not sure if I could adjust to that properly.

That's it for the moment. There are a lot more to talk about but I will have to leave it up to here with regards to my job hunting progress.

Now in other (very sensitive) matters:

My B and I had our 3rd monthsary last 6th. The same as usual, not having enough finances at that time. We ought to have a breakthrough in that. Anyway, my B and I had some rough moments but they always get sorted out. The main culprit is not being able to say the words in the right way at the right time. I also noticed that my B was very sensitive in these matters... so am I. We had some serious discussions, and sweet moments together but we remained true to our promises to each other.

There was something that happened that I thought wouldn't happen to me again for quite a long time,-- I cried (or sobbed) over something that I have said to my B. I didn't mean to say it in a way she took it. So there was a misunderstanding between us. I culdn't believe I have said something so carelessly. She felt sorry for me later for seeing me very teary-eyed. How pathetic was I, huh? I am, afterall, a sensitive person as well. Still I felt ashamed later on for having cried in front of my B, asking for apologies over a serious mistake. It was nothing relating to a third party or anything (there is no more such a thing in our relationship), just an implication of something that was said.

I don't want to delve into the matter more because it is already settled now. I'm so thankful that my B is such an understanding and faithful person. I could never find someone as true, sincere, caring, faithful and loving as her- one of many reasons why I love her so much.

Yesterday, I took her out for dinner at a fastfood chain. We talked about her past and I told her about what I have been feeling for her all these times. She was also telling me about her feelings about me ever since the day we met. It was a really refreshing moment. We both became misty-eyed later that night, because of knowing how much we love each other. Does this part sound overly-emotional to you? I don't care, it's my blog and there's nothing you can do to stop me, hehe. 

Anyway,...

How I wish I could be beside her for life already, but responsibility is of utmost concern. She still has to graduate, and I have to get a stable and good-paying job.

So here I am out to do my share of the responsibility. Wish me and my B the best! 

Back at my home:

My sister (the younger), Cindy, will be having her debut this 31st. My mom have been pretty busy planning for the occassion and decided to have the celebration held at home. I'm not really into the idea since our place is too small to accommodate the probable number of visitors. Our house isn't much and it's already crowded with furniture and stuff.

We also have two dogs that enter and leave our house and wreak havoc to our floor, one of them, Bubbles (a small poodle-pekanese hybrid), is particulary grumpy when it comes to strangers.

I can already imagine the setting. That also means I'll have to work double-time to clean the house and our room. My angst is mainly pointed toward my younger brother, who shares the room with me. He's not that tidy a person so I don't know how to handle him. He is as grumpy as an old man and is unbelievably untidy-- from the way he looks to the way he lives. He's one of the few reasons why I want to live in a boarding/lodging house, or flat/apartment.

There's so much to do in such a little time, isn't there? So I better get going now and do something.

"There was the catch. I was like fishing on a lake, and after waiting for a long time, I suddenly have this strong tug at the end of the line and when I pull it out from the water, I get a guppy."

The results from my application in Cagayan de Oro finally came. I asked Rambert, a friend who is having his review in CdO for the CPA Board exams, to accompany me while I go and get the results. I was supposed to meet B1 or B2 at the Philtown Hotel Lobby at 2:00 P.M..

A few days ago I was applying online for this job when I read about their ad in www.bestjobs.ph. I thought the job description fit my portfolio pretty well. I have been travelling from Iligan to Cagayan de Oro and vice versa very often lately. That's because I've been asked to take some job interviews and practical examinations in 2 days at an interval. The interview was okay, and so were the practical exams. It was on a Thursday that I had my practical exam. After that I was asked to return on a Monday (the week after) to get my results.

So last Monday, I went to Cdo together with Rambert. We departed from Iligan around eleven in the morning. We arrived some time quarter to one in the afternoon. After a quick lunch Rambert accompanied me to Philtown Hotel. He was supposed to have his daily review lessons along with Renie (a classmate with Rambert, also taking up review lessons in preparation for their CPA Board examinations coming this October) at 3:00 o'clock in Xavier College not far from where they were staying. Rambert accompanied me and left as soon as one of the bosses would arrive.

B2 came carrying my resume and went straight to the Hotel's dining area where several other hotel guests were eating some tables away. I followed him and sat opposite him. Rambert then left for his review classes.

I was sitting there with an ironic thought: I was actually hoping not to be admitted because I wanted a job in Iligan or Cebu. B2 then lays down my printed resume on the table and after scanning it a bit looked at me and told me that the results of my interview and exams were pretty high. They were pleased about what I did back there and they were willing to include me in their company. I was pleased hearing that not because I wanted to work there but because it was flattering (hehe).

The deal was this: Since the salary rate that I wanted as shown in my resume was "too high" for a entry-level position, they suggested that I will be given six months training for javascripting. B2 said that my training probably won't reach six months because according to him (he's the programming guy in the business), I could learn pretty fast based on the examination results. While I'm under training, I will given a per day rate of Php 180.00 a day.... "Excuse me?...", I thought to myself. Did I just hear that from him? That would equal to Php 3, 600.00 a month, and that wouldn't be enough for me to last a month's stay in CdO considering the expenses that I would probably incur during the whole period. That's excluding weekend fair in commuting from Iligan to CdO and vice versa!

There was the catch. I was like fishing on a lake, and after waiting for a long time, I suddenly have this strong tug at the end of the line and when I pull it out from the water, I get a guppy.

That made my decision clear. I told B2 that I was really interested in the job itself but I was really worried about the expenses. So I told them that I would contact their office anytime soon for my decision whether or nit I would pursue this job.

There's a lot of bigger fishes in the lake- even in humble Iligan itself and so much more in Cebu. I wish I only had to work from home. So, earlier today I was scanning several job sites and sent emails to a number of business entities that are open for a permanent freelance position with a good pay. I'm still searching for more.

Right now I'm still having some worms in my can and there's still a long day ahead. But it won't be true for long so I'd better get going. I wish my friends in Cebu could help me out anyway.

"That means I have to walk an extra mile or two just to get noticed. So I got my works uploaded on the net just so I could prove the words I say. That's what I have to do to get even."

More than three and a half months have passed since I've been walking about jobless. For some reason some financial blessings come at the most needed moment save for some. But I have been spending much of my waking hours just thinking about where I should go. I hear of news about my highschool buddies getting decent jobs and talking about their own cars and travelling and stuff. I could just imagine the feeling of security.

I thought to myself, "Hey, wait a minute. If people say I have the talent and the brains, how come I'm still here inside our house daydreaming about having the good life?" Where did I go wrong? Thinking back through the years is giving me a headache. Wallowing in the past over the wrong decisions I've made throughout the years isn't making me a cent richer.

I cannot allow my batchmates (all four of them) get ahead of me. Too late now is it? I don't think so. So here I am tinkering the computer over and absorbing everything there is to know about graphics design and building up practical experience through Tadman. I did get somewhere though. But being a freelancer isn't good enough.

Now that I have my B who depends on me, I have to push myself a little bit further down the stretch if I have to survive. That would mean living well off takes more effort than staying alive. 

So lately I've been on the prowl for good and decent jobs out there that I could relate to. However there's a lot of screening that's involved not only on the employer's part but also on me. I'm good in graphics and web design, that much I can say. But most of the good companies out there are looking for those applicants who have formally studied under that related field. Which leaves me in the dust.

Hey, I've got talent and experience. How come a lot of wanna be's are getting their share of glory just by getting a formal degree in design? I've done my homework too you know. Alas, I have to face it, a degree equates to effort for most of us, so there's a lot of weight in it.

That means I have to walk an extra mile or two just to get noticed. So I got my works uploaded on the net just so I could prove the words I say. That's what I have to do to get even.

Now another challenge comes to mind: How far a place am I willing to work? Cebu would have been very ideal: I have a lot of friends and batchmates "happily" working their asses of in there. That would be like an invasion of IDS and MSU-IIT peeps of Cebu. Pretty soon everybody born in Cebu will find their common ancestry in Iligan. BUT my B's still studying, and based on experience, a day or two of absence from each other's presence is agony. Besides, my B is more likely to find work here in Iligan than on Cebu. That leaves me to look for other nearer places to work.

There's this job offer I found in Cagayan de Oro. They are looking for a graphics/layout artist to work for them. I went there for an interview- twice. The first was a simple interview from one of the two bosses there. The first exercise given to me was to animate a set of pictures. I haven't learned Flash yet so I used javascripting. I didn't encode the program itself, I only copied a predesigned code and tweaked it a bit to suit my preferences. Apparently that boss (let's call him B1) wasn't satisfied and asked me to return yeasterday (Thursday) for another round. I was given an assignment and was told to bring more samples. So yesterday I returned to cdo and brought the "goods". B1 was happy with the samples I brought and passed me over to B2.

This B2 was the program-guy. He could type codes of javascript on-the-fly. Very enviable on my standards. They wanted to see my programming skills, they told me. I was totally flabberghasted at the thought. I was imagining in my mind that I was bathing in sweat, having a hard time trying to code a simple output of "hello world" into the sreen. I was thinking of languages like C++, java, or Scheme or Pascal or VisualBasic, etc. To my relief they meant mark-up languages like html, css and javascript or php.

B2 gave me two sets of problems which I finished. The second set I accomplished in a different understanding of the given directions. B2 told me he was thinking of a different approach to the given problem. There was a misunderstanding of the problem on my part in other words. However, he let my work be. B1 came in and told B2 to give me one more test. That was to animate again a picture and this time, in oddly movements. "Yikes!", I gasped. No choice. I went to google search online for a predefined javascript to achieve a certain effect and tweaked it.

Overall I finished the exam and did it my way. I was told to return on Monday to get the feedback. I'll know whether I am admitted or not by then.

On the other hand, Iligan is the best and most feasible place to work in. I learned too late that a business entity somewhere near IIT that they were looking for web designers and developers and they pay them in five digits! Somebody already filled in the outgoing designer's position and now it's closed. I'm still hoping for their consideration if ever I do start applying there.

Right now I'm concerned on finding a good place to work in, assess the feasibility issues and start moving. Got to go, got to learn a lot more... I have my quarry and I ain't letting it go.